Doulos

The Greek word “doulos” can mean one of two things when translated into the English. It can mean either slave or it can mean servant. This can prove to be very tricky and very frustrating for the Biblical translator who is trying to find the best and most correct meaning of a word. Those of a Judeo-Christian perspective would like to think that these so-called “scholars” are striving only for the correct and true original meaning of the word and the passage when going from Greek into English. The truth of the matter is that people are flawed. Humanity is not perfect. We let our own life experiences and own biases enter into our work when it comes to Bible translating. This creates one major problem when it comes to the Bible, a problem that many fundamentalist Christians hate to hear about: every Bible translation is an interpretation.

Take our word “doulos” for example. The true meaning of the word in the Greek could very well have been slave, yet if you were preaching that passage to a mostly African American congregation then it is doubtful you are going to use the word “slave” in fear of offending them. You will use the watered down, easier to stomach meaning: servant.

I am Monoxide and I am not anyone’s servant and I sure as hell am no one’s slave. There are certain individuals in this company known as Global Division of Wrestling who may not know that yet. I don’t want to name any names but suffice it to say that they will get their rude awakening very, very soon. They may expect me to be the good little lap dog, the good little henchman goon and follow my orders; just like a good little servant.

Or slave.

But the fact is that I am not a servant and I am not a slave. It doesn’t matter how the hell you interpret that word, I am STILL Monoxide and I look out for me. I obey my own commands and no one else’s. I am my own man and I have my own goals in this company.

I face Steven Talbot in the next round of the Fever Television Championship Tournament. Talbot and everyone in this tournament have only one thing on their mind: gold. The Fever Television Championship. But I have other things on my mind. I have other goals, goals greater than even Steven Talbot can possibly comprehend.

Talbot. The Illuminati. None of them truly fathom what is really going on in my head. The stupid bimbo psychiatrist Mike Michaels sent to analyze me thinks she understands but even she doesn’t. No one does. But soon they’ll get a taste of what I’m truly all about.

But first thing’s first and that’s an obstacle by the name of Steven Talbot who stands between me and the Fever Championship. Yeah, yeah, I said I didn’t give a damn about that stupid piece of tin, but hey, if I’m going to shock the world at Game Over 2008, I might as well do it as a new champion.

Meagan: “So? Are you ready for Friday night?”

Monoxide: “Huh?”

I was asleep on the sofa in my apartment. Key word there is “was”, past tense. I blink myself awake to find my business manager Meagan Collins standing over me in my apartment dressed in a crème colored sun dress with a low heeled shoe. Her long dark hair is left to hang down unrestrained to shoulder length. She is very beautiful, very sexy. Were it not for the fact that she is married I might take this stunning sensation and try to woo her right this very moment.

Other than the obvious problem of her being married, there are only two big problems with that scenario. Number one I try to never mix business with pleasure. It usually leads to bad consequences. And number two she looks rather peeved with me right now.

I put on my usual sly smile, hoping that it and my charm will disarm her.

Monoxide: “Oh, well good morning Meagan! I wasn’t expecting you here this morning.”

Meagan: “That’s Mrs. Collins to you, and its two in the afternoon, buddy boy.”

My eyes slowly start to grow wider and wider as I slowly realize what just happened.

Monoxide: “I overslept…”

Meagan: “Bingo. You are scheduled for a very important match. You’d think you’d be preparing for it. You would think you would be working on some moves. You would think that maybe, just maybe, you would be watching some tapes of Steven Talbot in action. But no, instead you chose to sleep all damn day. Care to explain that to me?”

The events of the preceding night return to me and I smile mischievously.

Monoxide: “That waitress at the Hooters last night sure as fun….”

Meagan: “A woman?!”

Meagan rears back and slaps me across my face. Instead of getting angry I just continue to smile back at her with my usual cocky grin while she continues to berate me.

Meagan: “You have the opportunity to become the Fever Television Champion and you are more concerned with a woman?!”

Monoxide: “Well she was hot.”

Meagan: “That isn’t the point.”

Meagan sits down next to me on the sofa as I sit up. I continue to look into her eyes as her eyes flare anger and frustration.

Meagan: “The point is that you need to have your priorities straight. Geez, Monoxide, what do you want out of this career? Huh?”

My cocky, smug grin slowly dissipates and is replaced by a very serious, very grim look. It is a stern look that Meagan is not used to. But she does know that when I look like this that I am deadly serious.

Monoxide: “My priorities? What am I going to get out of this career? How about I turn this around and ask you a question, Megs….oh, I’m sorry, Mrs. Collins. What are YOU getting out of this?”

Meagan shrugs.

Meagan: “Well I do kinda hope to expand my horizons a bit in the professional wrestling business. I was a great world champion and now I would like to be known as the manager of world champions as well.”

Monoxide: “Ah yes, and now you hope to manage me to a world title, right?”

Meagan nods.

Meagan: “Yeah.”

Monoxide: “Well world championships are not in my sight right now, Mrs. Collins. In fact, this Fever Television Championship is not in my sights right now. I only have one goal in mind and that goal won’t be accomplished at Game Over….”

A sadistic grin flashes across my face. I think about what the future might hold for after Game Over and then I unconsciously lick my lips in anticipation.

Monoxide: “…but things will really start to get interesting then!”

Meagan: “And what about Steven Talbot?”

Monoxide: “What about him? Steven Talbot means nothing to me. He means about as much to me as the Fever Television Championship means to me. He’s merely an annoyance.”

Meagan: “An annoyance?”

Meagan stands up, glaring over me once more the same way she was when she first entered my apartment.

Meagan: “He is a former Terror Television Champion in GDW. He knows how to win in GDW.”

Monoxide: “So? You say that as if I should give a damn. I don’t, Mrs. Collins. I don’t give a damn about Steven Talbot or the Fever Title. I only care about one thing…one dirty, filthy, whorish thing.”

Meagan: “Yeah and I know what thing is. But understand also….the agreement.”

Monoxide: “Oh I remember the agreement alright. I remember it well. But there is something you should understand, Mrs. Collins…..Meagan…”

I stand up to full length by Meagan. I tower over her. Despite my intimidating presence she does not back down. She indeed is as tough as everyone says she is. But even she won’t dissuade me as I continue to stare her right in her eyes.

Monoxide: “I am no one’s slave. I am no one’s servant.”

Meagan: “I know that….”

Monoxide: *interrupting* “I have my goals in life, in this profession. Winning a championship may be one of them later down the road but not now. You don’t have to worry about your precious record as a manager being dirtied up, because you won’t be the one doing the dirtying. I’ll do the dirty work on Steven Talbot. I’ll dirty him up and I’ll beat him up. I’ll leave him lying in a pool of his own blood if I have to. I don’t settle for a loss. You should me better than that.”

Meagan: “I sense there is a ‘but’ coming up…”

I nod.

Monoxide: “But you should realize that while I will take out Steven Talbot on Fever, that I have bigger fish to fry than him. I have certain injustices that need to be righted. Vengeance will be mine.”

Doulos…..servant or slave? You make the call.

As far as I am concerned it means nothing. It means nothing to me. I am neither servant nor slave. I am my own man and Meagan Collins realizes that now.

Oh I’ll make her a bigger star and I’ll make her money alright, but I won’t be doing it for her or to advance her goals. I’ll be doing it to advance mine. My goals are the ones that will be advanced.

The only slave that will be beaten to death will be Steven Talbot.