Psychiatric Evaluation

Psychiatry is a medical specialty which exists to study, prevent, and treat mental disorders in humans. Psychiatric assessment typically involves a mental status examination and taking a case history, and psychological tests may be administered.

At least that’s what wikipedia says.

Heh, good luck to examining my mental state ya boobs.

Physical examinations may be conducted and occasionally neuron-images or other neuron-physiological measurements taken. i.e. The docs will measure my brain and find out that its quite large! Diagnostic procedures vary but official criteria are listed in manuals. Psychiatric medication is a central treatment option, which is largely unique to psychiatry along with rarer procedures such as Electroconvulsive therapy (oh yeah, bring on the shock treatment baby! That’s just what I need!).

Psychotherapy is also a major treatment option in psychiatry, although it is also the specialty of other mental health professions.

Yeah, some may say that I need some psychotherapy because I am a psycho. But I disagree with them. I’m not a psychopath. I know exactly what I’m doing and why I do it. The goal for you dear friend is to find out for yourself; because I won’t tell you, at least not yet. I will tell you when I’m damn well ready to tell you.

GDW wants to dig deep into my brain. They want to find out what makes me tick. This is why they have me lying here on this comfy brown sofa listening to the sickeningly sweet voice of Dr. Jennifer Warren, GDW’s Director of Psychology. They are hoping she’ll probe me and find out my deepest darkest secrets.

Good luck with that.

I am a man of many secrets. My secrets are mine to reveal at the chosen time and they are not to be revealed to a blonde bimbo who is easy on the eyes and happens to have a doctorate in psychology.

Dr. Warren: So Mr….um…..

Monoxide: *with a smirk plastered on my face* …Monoxide.

Dr. Warren: Yes, of course. Monoxide. So, where again did you learn about the Global Division of Wrestling?

There are more important things for me to worry with than to answer this dumb bimbo’s questions. Such as this upcoming Fever Championship Tournament.

Talk about damn good negotiating. My manager, Meagan Collins, helped secure me this spot in the tournament. I am now three wins away from winning the newly reactivated Fever Television Championship. The first obstacle is Trinity Litrell Black, the wife of Assistant Vice President LJ Black.

Sorry boss, but I’m gonna have to disfigure your trophy. I want gold and your wife is gonna die.

I definitely don’t need to deal with the nonsense this Dr. Warren is trying to shove down my throat.

Monoxide: I learned about it from my manager, Mrs. Meagan Collins. I understand she was somewhat of a big deal here.

A low chuckle escapes my throat. Hopefully Dr. Warren detected the dry sarcasm in my voice as I made that statement.

Dr. Warren: Yes, she was quite a big deal. She was a former four time world champion, hall of fame member, grand slam winner….

Monoxide: *interrupting* Blah, blah, blah, blah…yes, I know all of this Jenny. She is my manager after all. I was being sarcastic because I would rather not be here right now.

Understanding this, Dr. Warren nods her head.

Dr. Warren: Yes, I figured as much. But while you may not want to be here, GDW still requires you to be here to get a psychiatric evaluation. They want to ensure that you are not….

Monoxide: Unstable? Nuts? Insane? Oh come on now, doc, you are the one with the doctorate here. You tell me.

I sit up and stare into her lovely blue eyes. That smug look is still etched across my face and I am quite certain it is driving her nuts.

Monoxide: Do I look crazy?

Dr. Warren: Looks can be very deceiving, Mr….ahem….Monoxide. Former GDW International Champion Annabelle Jones seems perfectly stable and normal by just looking at her but you wouldn’t know that she once set her mother on fire, now would you? You also worry the company with certain actions and traits that you exhibit. You are very secretive. You don’t seem to be very open to me at all.

Monoxide: Gee, I wonder what gave you that idea?

Dr. Warren: I’m being serious. And for some reason you only want to go by your ring name of Monoxide. You refuse to let anyone else other than a few close associates know your real name.

Monoxide: Yeah, that’s true. But everyone can have their own quirks, can’t they doctor? Its kind of like my opponent for the next Fever. One of her odd quirks is that she enjoys being the dumb trophy bitch of LJ Black. It won’t help her against me but, meh, to each their own.

It is obvious from her tone of voice that Dr. Warren is getting frustrated with me. I can see the scowl beginning to form on her face and it almost makes me laugh right then and there but I hold it back. I would rather see what she has to say to me first.

Dr. Warren: Monoxide, please, this isn’t about Trinity. This is about you. You have secrets that you refuse to share with anyone and whenever they get brought up you start acting strangely.

Monoxide: Yeah, so? You act like I should give a damn. Let me tell you something, Jenny, I only care about one thing right now and that’s beating people up. My first task is to beat up Trinity Black. So that little cute broad is important to me even if she isn’t important to you. I’d rather be focusing on how I plan to make her scream, and I definitely do not mean that in a sexual way either. Instead I’m stuck here chit chatting with you about why I act the way I do.

Dr. Warren: Yes and there is a good reason you are here, Monoxide. GDW requires that all of its superstars receive a clean bill of mental health before actively competing. I have yet to give you that clean bill of mental health. That is what we are here for right now, you see. This psychiatric evaluation is your chance to prove to me that you are mentally stable. If you cannot prove that to me then I won’t clear you to wrestle and then you won’t get your match against Trinity on Fever.

Was I just laughing it up before? Well that has all changed now that this bitch threatened me and my career. I know I could just tell Collins and she’d handle this swiftly, but I don’t want to be seen as some crybaby who needs to go run to his mommy every time he has a problem. I am going to be a future Fever Television Champion after I defeat Trinity Black. Its time I started acting like a champion and show these peons why I should be respected around here.

Monoxide: Are you threatening me, doc? If you are, let me tell you right now that is not a smart move. I have my goals here in GDW. I have certain things I wish to accomplish and I will not let you stand in my way.

Dr. Warren: What goals?

Monoxide: Wouldn’t you like to know? I already told this all to Jeremy Johnson this past Friday. My goals are for me to know and no one else will find out until I am ready to reveal them all to the world. Believe me, I have a damn good reason for doing what I do and saying what I say. But also believe me when I say that you don’t want to know what they are. Not yet. So go ahead, doc. Give me a bad bill of health. Don’t clear me to wrestle. I dare you.

Dr. Warren sighs and just shakes her head.

Dr. Warren: No. You’re good to go.

Monoxide: Excellent.

~~~~~~~~~~

So in my first match out I already find myself up against the infamous Black machine. I guess I should be quaking in my boots but I’m not. LJ Black and I have an understanding. He knows why I’m here and what my ultimate goal in GDW is. He and I agree. We are kindred spirits. He won’t get in my way.

In return I promise not to rough up his wifey too much. I mean, it isn’t my fault that by random luck of the draw I got chosen to face his girlie in the first round of the Fever Championship tournament.

Trinity, you really do have quite a lovely name and you look just as lovely as well. You are pretty as a picture.

That is where the compliments end, girlie, because my name is Monoxide and I play for keeps.

I don’t care who you are or what you are. You are an obstacle. You stand in my way of achieving a goal and you know what that means? You know what I do to obstacles?

I destroy them. I tear them down piece by piece, brick by brick, until absolutely nothing remains of the obstacle but a pile of rubble.

That is what you will be when all is said and done, Trin. You will be rubble. You will be rubble at my feet.

And this isn’t the talk of a smug cocky bastard, this is fact. I mean, who you are to stop me? You are the trophy wife of LJ Black. You parade around looking all primp and prissy for him. That is all you do. You’re no competitor. You may have used to be one but you aren’t now. You lack the drive to win. And you certainly lack the sadistic nature that I have. You aren’t sick and sadistic enough to do what it takes to win.

You have no clue what I’m capable of. Hell, no one in GDW knows what I’m capable of just yet seeing as this is my first match.

So take heed, GDW. Bear witness to the example I make out of Trinity Black, because this will be the fate of all of you soon.

Or at least one other person!